Dear God...

I would watch my daddy take another drink; listen to his voice change while at the same time watching my mommy's face change. She would begin to gear up for battle as one more drink was consumed. The room was filled with tension, the smell of beer and a dinner that was soon approaching being burned. My mind would rush to a previous memory of food flying across the room, the time my daddy, who is 6 feet 2 inches, shove my frail mommy, pushing her against a chair, table or wall. Quickly glancing around I noticed my sister's face change too...she looked afraid...we were all afraid. 

There is a feeling you get in your mind and body when you have no control to change a moment in time. It is as if you are falling and there is no bottom for your feet, but you can see the floor from far away. Your mind is struggling to formulate a simple sentence while your body reacts with a cold sweat in anticipation of the next moment, the one you can't control. It is in this split second that you make a decision to faint or do something, anything. Soon, survival kicks in and you grab your sister, run to the other room, close the door, hide behind the bed and sit ever so quiet, afraid for the next noise you will hear. Teeth clenched, arm in arm, eyes wide open and then quickly shut, you wish with all that is in you that you would disappear and return when all was calm again.

The noise escalated as did the fight between my mommy and daddy, and soon others would get involved, even the police. I began my prayer, "Dear God. Please help my mommy and my daddy to love each other again!" That was it. I repeated that several times. It seemed to me, the little girl in the survival situation, that what was lost was not the argument...but the love! 

Today, I am grown and I like the calm, the quiet and the peaceful moments of life I am afforded. But then I listen as a practicing survivor and I hear the noise again. Today, I hear the conflict between a man who needs money and a quick way to secure it, a young girl vulnerable, scared and not allowed to make any noise for fear of her life, and a man who needs to overpower a female of any age with sexual power while making all the noise he wants and with any action the moment of his darkest desire demands! 

Again, I begin to pray, "Dear God, please help this little sister to know how much you love them. May they find in themselves, deep within the violation and damage, the courage to escape, and reach once again for a hand that is pure and carries a heart of love on behalf of their future. In this first step, may they find the highest hope that they can be provided by your love and grace, a true peace and calm in their souls. Give them the daily strength to walk from the dark place toward the light of life, finding their most authentic self to be expressed in the most amazing ways.

Dear God. May I continue to be brave enough to hear the noise, react with care and concern, taking the hand of my female sister and finding a refuge for safety until a full rescue is provided!  May you find others like us who are willing to lend their ear, hear the noise, react in love and rescue those who are not able to free themselves! May I never forget that though our stories differ, we are sisters who, in the embrace, will find solidarity of soul.

27,000,000 Million Slaves - Hear the noise. React in Love. Embrace Your Sister. 

Bilateral Safety Corridor Coalition

Missing Kids

Human Trafficking Los Angeles 

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher Involved

Open Your Eyes Little One

In just a couple of months, I was going to turn three years old. I was already talking very well, and had lots of questions about anything new that made its way into my young life. Then a big surprise came to my house on December 15th, ten days before Christmas – my little sister was born. She was bald, soft, and a bit pink. Wow, the whole house was buzzing about her arrival, and mommy was having lots of visitors to see the new little one. Viola and I – the two sisters were thrilled to add a third. Let’s see – one (that’s me), two – (that’s Viola) and three – (that’s Paige)! Yeah…one, two, three! Perfect, for those were my favorite numbers at the time.

I would sit close to little sister; stroke her hand or forehead very softly, trying to get her attention. I wanted to explain (in my 3 yr. old monologue) to her about Christmas. I was so excited about the event coming to our house any minute so it seemed. But the only response I seemed to muster was a gurgle, and a flutter of those long black eyelashes. Well, for now she is mostly sleeping, eating and ugh, you know!

I was surely a bit frustrated that she arrived just in time to get excited with Viola and I about our new Christmas Tree, our cousins visiting, and of course…the presents, but she still just slept, ate and you know - again! Come on little one, open your eyes so you can see all that is going on around you. There was talk of turkey dinner, wrapping, shopping, Christmas music and lots of neighborhood kids out of school. Viola and I would peek out of our dining room window, wishing for the day when we could join in on the laughter, games and fun.

One day I asked my mommy some questions about our new little sister; “Mommy, how fast can little Paige grow?” “Is she going to come to Christmas?” “Will she be able to open her presents?” So many questions from an anxious first born, anticipating the big celebration. Each day, I would visit her on either mommy’s bed or at her beautiful bassinet – peering over her like a discerning mother eagle – looking for a sign of any growth or excitement about our Christmas. It was right around the corner and she had only really looked my way once and only for a split second! Hey, she doesn’t seem even a little bit excited about our Christmas! Viola and I played each day, listening and watching for any sign from mom and dad that Christmas was finally here!

Little sister Paige did come to Christmas, got lots of love and attention, even received some presents (that the grownups opened for her), and she did finally open her eyes and stare at the lights on the tree! By that time, Viola and I were saturated in Christmas presents, decorations, cousins and food we liked (sure I loved mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes at that age). Little sister would have to enjoy herself with mom and dad, as now I and sister Viola were busy playing, jumping, giggling and enjoying pumpkin pie! Merry Christmas little sister, sure hope you can join us next year!

Today Paige thoroughly enjoys Christmas – the decorations, the family, the music and the food! We join together as a family – hers and mine – celebrating His birth each year. Her eyes are wide open now, seeing all the beautiful facets of Christ’s birth, love and his sacrifice. She has also opened her heart, and now she is the one who wants to know if those she cares about will celebrate Christmas and all it means. Traveling to Europe, visiting homes, and ministering in churches – she anxiously waits for someone to open their eyes and their heart so that they can enjoy the true Christmas message – each and every day of the year. She has a full head of hair, is no longer pink, still soft and of course has long black eyelashes. The cool thing now is that her eyes are wide open! Her heart is saturated in His love, His provision and His care! So glad you could join us for Christmas!

Happy Birthday Paige! And of course – a very Merry Christmas.

I love you very much,

Your sister, Berna Lee